A question on redit recently got me thinking about my history of employment. I’ve been fortunate to stumble into a field that’s allowed me to have a long career. Looking back I realize it could have gone very differently. My early employment was a series of part time or temporary jobs. The few time I had something more permanent or full time it didn’t last long.

I remember one temp job where I had to pick parts. In some ways it was ideal. You got a list of parts and went through the warehouse pulling them together into a tray. You then took the tray to the person who did the assembly. While you were on the floor you could listen to music, had to focus on your list, and be timely. The challenge was that people wanted to socialize. Several of them went to lunch together or wanted to chat on breaks. I ate in my car to avoid people and smiled and nodded during breaks. It wasn’t that they weren’t nice folks, I just didn’t know how to interact with them, and it sent my social anxiety through the roof. After calling in sick for three days straight because I couldn’t cope, they said they couldn’t hold the job for me. I guess we both figured I’d quit.

During that time one of the best temp jobs I’d had was working in a physical file room. They basically stuck me back in a cage with the files. The job consisted of pulling requested files, and re-filing them when they came back. I kept busy and could listen to books-on-tape or music (this was the 90’s). And no one wanted to stop and chat. I got promoted out of the file room. I lasted for a while after that, but eventually that ended as well. Mostly because of the hour plus commute.

I ended up in a temp job at Wells Fargo auditing branch cash drawers. Most of it was done on the computer. And while the people I worked with wanted to chat, they mostly wanted to talk about work. I could do that. I understood the work we did and could talk about it without any problem. It was a temp job and as it wound down they asked me if had another job lined up. When I said no they asked if I could help in another area. “You seem to be pretty good with computer stuff. Another department is using this application called Microsoft Access. Do you think you could figure it out and help us organize X?” I started working with it and learning about database design. They asked me to stay, and I quickly figured out if I kept building them new tools I didn’t have to do the parts of the job I hated. Like making cold calls to customers. They pretty much left me to develop tools and applications. I liked the work. Development was about information and how things connected together. It clicked with my brain and I was good at it.

Towards the end of my first year at Wells they called me into a conference room to meet with a VP from the Bay Area. The bank had to complete Y2K certification. She wanted to know who I was and why was my name associated with three applications listed as mission critical for the certification program. I thought for sure I was going to be fired. Instead I got pulled onto a development team and I officially had a career, not just a job. While I worked hard and always kept learning, I recognize that I got very lucky to find this path. If it hadn’t been for Y2K I may not have had the career I have now. I was also fortunate to have been on a team at Wells that allowed me to learn the social skills I needed in the corporate world. My time at Wells Fargo wasn’t perfect, but it did provide a safe place for me. A lot of people don’t get that opportunity.

I know now that most (all?) of my social anxiety comes from being autistic. Back then I thought I was a horrible person for not being able to connect with my co-workers. That there was something wrong with me. What let me have a career was finding a field that let me leverage how my brain works. I was able to make aspects of my job my special interest, and then turn my special interest in to a craft. I’ve continued to do this throughout my career. Along the way I’ve learned how to socialize at work (about work). I keep most of my non-work related special interests to myself. I don’t hide them. I just don’t go on about them. I’ve developed a work persona that let’s me fit in even when I tend to stand apart. It isn’t perfect, but it works. It also has it’s limitations, but that’s another story.

I’m writing this for a few reasons. One is to track my own self discovery, but the other is in hope that it might help someone else. At the least, I hope you know you’re not alone.