I wanted to talk a little bit about the name for the blog, how it came about and what it means. The title Malignant Genius is on the surface exactly that. To be honest I was actually looking for something along the lines of Evil Genius, but of course all of those were taken. I stumbled across Malignant Genius in my quest and liked the sound of it. In fact the more I thought about it the more I liked it, and it eventually turned into a philosophical title for me.

So as I said on the surface the title is exactly as stated. In fact the tagline is, “When you think like a genius, think malignant thoughts.” Not sure it anyone has caught that as it’s tucked away in various places on the site and not in your face. Under the surface this title has become much more to me. Simply put I feel that in some respects genius itself is a malignancy. Perhaps not something to be cut out like a tumor, but at times detrimental all the same. (And before you ask, yes I do meet the technical qualifications of genius and am a member of American Mensa.)

By way of an example of the malignancy, a few of my co-workers joke about what I’m like before my first cup of coffee. Until I’ve had at least some form of stimulant to start my day I’m pretty much incoherent and a bit belligerent. Now this isn’t because I drink so much coffee that I can’t function without it. I’ll let you in on a little secret. While I walk around with a coffee cup all day long I only drink 2-3 cups in a an average day, and 1 when I’m not at work. No the reason I can’t function without my morning libation is because I don’t fall asleep until 1 or 2 in the morning. Most nights I can’t shut off my brain long enough to fall asleep. I can be absolutely exhausted and as soon as my head hits the pillow my brain kicks into overdrive and starts running down scenarios and chasing after flights of fancy. About mid week my body generally can’t take it anymore and overrides my brain sending me straight to sleep, but the next night the whole thing starts over again. This is not a good thing.

Another example is the fact that I sometimes wish I was ignorant of what was going on around me. A few weeks ago one of my devs replied to a question I asked him in email. At the end of his response he asked if he could get a few minutes of my time the next day. My brain instantly jumped to the conclusion that he was going to give his notice. Guess what my brain did until 2 am that night. The next day sure enough he tendered his resignation. <sigh> Ignorant people seem so happy.

That’s not to say I would have the malignancy cut out, just that I wish I could shut it off once in a while. I love the fact that when presented with a problem by brain fractures into a million possibilities, each informing the others. Expanding some and collapsing others. I like the fact that my value is in presenting the non intuitive answer or piece of the puzzle that can push a solution from good to great. But god I wish I could sit in a meeting and not be analyzing the subtle interactions of the participants. Watching the social games play out and gauging not only where I stand at any given moment, but how everyone else does as well. Kicking myself because of some perceived slip on my part that most likely meant nothing to anyone else. Or worse, kicking myself because some intended action was lost unnoticed in the white noise of social communication.

With this post I’m starting a new category called Malignancy. It will be inclined towards the more philosophical and anthropological as apposed to the technical and artistic.